redgraveconspiracy:

rvb pfl domestic au where wash owns three cats and wakes his flatmate/life partner maine every morning when he struggles to get at least one of his cats to cooperate with the leash for morning walkies

rvb pfl domestic au where wash can only get one cat to cooperate in the morning but every day it’s a different cat

rvb pfl domestic au where maine gives up trying to sleep through the yowling at the break of dawn and starts joining wash and his dumb cat of the day for walkies

rvb pfl domestic au where wash and maine pass by caboose and his roommates church II and tucker and his fierce looking doberman freckles at the park, and the guys struggle not to make fun of wash and his dumb daily cat stroll in front of his scary looking ex marine “probably” boyfriend

Things Freelancers Are Not Allowed To Do

Carolina: Drop nukes on her teammates (no matter how badly she wants to).

York: Keep the keys to the Mother of Invention (this is a Freelancer Facility, not a joyride).

Wyoming: Put mustache cream in everyone's shampoo/facial applicants (some people just can't rock the mustache Reggie).

CT: Shave off half of people's hair during weekly trims (mohawks are for punk rockers, get a job you hippie).

Washington: Put up cat posters in the rec room (half the people have allergies and half the posters are just plain ridiculous).

North Dakota: Set everyone's trackers before a mission (they are grown ass adults, if they get sniped because they were dumb, it is their own goddamn fault).

South Dakota: Pester me about getting an AI (I'm about to implant you with 40 CCs of whoopass if you don't shut up about it).

Maine: Bite people (I don't care if you sound like 100 kinds of shark, eating your teammates does not count as teamwork).

Texas: Punch people in their sleep (do it when they're awake and you have the pleasure of watching them see who fucked their shit up).

Florida: Nothing (you're the only dependable one on this goddamn ship).

As posted by the Director of Project Freelancer. Failure to follow these protocols will result in my foot going nine ways up your ass. Good day.

duskywoodswallow:

ultrafacts:

Source More Facts

The dogs name was Endal….”Over the years, Endal has learned to pull the plug out of the bath before going for help if Allen falls unconscious whilst bathing, and is able to put Allen in the recovery position, hit the emergency button on the telephone and summon help … Endal has learned how to use ATMs as well as Chip and pin machines, as well as helping out with shopping, opening train doors, operating lifts, unloading the washing machine and more typical doggie skills like getting the paper.”Parton states that Endal’s ability to comprehend his wishes and needs showed when they first met, and was responsible for helping him recover from the initial deep depression and trauma caused by his disability.Endal came again to national attention in a 2001 incident, when Allen was knocked out of his wheelchair by a passing car. Endal pulled Allen, who was unconscious, into the recovery position, retrieved his mobile phone from beneath the car, fetched a blanket and covered him, barked at nearby dwellings for assistance, and then ran to a nearby hotel to obtain help.

duskywoodswallow:

ultrafacts:

Source More Facts

The dogs name was Endal….”Over the years, Endal has learned to pull the plug out of the bath before going for help if Allen falls unconscious whilst bathing, and is able to put Allen in the recovery position, hit the emergency button on the telephone and summon help … Endal has learned how to use ATMs as well as Chip and pin machines, as well as helping out with shopping, opening train doors, operating lifts, unloading the washing machine and more typical doggie skills like getting the paper.”
Parton states that Endal’s ability to comprehend his wishes and needs showed when they first met, and was responsible for helping him recover from the initial deep depression and trauma caused by his disability.
Endal came again to national attention in a 2001 incident, when Allen was knocked out of his wheelchair by a passing car. Endal pulled Allen, who was unconscious, into the recovery position, retrieved his mobile phone from beneath the car, fetched a blanket and covered him, barked at nearby dwellings for assistance, and then ran to a nearby hotel to obtain help.