Carolina: Drop nukes on her teammates (no matter how badly she wants to).
York: Keep the keys to the Mother of Invention (this is a Freelancer Facility, not a joyride).
Wyoming: Put mustache cream in everyone's shampoo/facial applicants (some people just can't rock the mustache Reggie).
CT: Shave off half of people's hair during weekly trims (mohawks are for punk rockers, get a job you hippie).
Washington: Put up cat posters in the rec room (half the people have allergies and half the posters are just plain ridiculous).
North Dakota: Set everyone's trackers before a mission (they are grown ass adults, if they get sniped because they were dumb, it is their own goddamn fault).
South Dakota: Pester me about getting an AI (I'm about to implant you with 40 CCs of whoopass if you don't shut up about it).
Maine: Bite people (I don't care if you sound like 100 kinds of shark, eating your teammates does not count as teamwork).
Texas: Punch people in their sleep (do it when they're awake and you have the pleasure of watching them see who fucked their shit up).
Florida: Nothing (you're the only dependable one on this goddamn ship).
As posted by the Director of Project Freelancer. Failure to follow these protocols will result in my foot going nine ways up your ass. Good day.